Good-Byes Are Always Hard
by WhumpageLover
Summary: Alternate ending to the show. What if Neal was forced to fake his death, to save Peter?
1. Chapter 1

Neal waited until he knew Keller was gone. He pulled the capsule out of his suit pocket. He broke it open and let the power dissolve on his tongue. He knew he had about 90 minutes until his heart rate and breathed slowed enough, for him to appear dead. He laid back down and waited. His mind wandered. He thought about the people he was leaving behind and the memories he had made with those people.

Peter pushed his way through the crowd. He stopped next to the stretcher.

"Sir you need to step back." Peter flashed his badge and reached for Neal's hand.

"We're going to get out of this."

"Not this time." Neal looked into Peter's eyes. "You're the only one who saw good in me."

"Neal don't."

"My best friend."

"We need to take him." Peter stood frozen in emotion as the ambulance drove away. He snapped back to attention and ran to his car. He drove to the hospital and pulled in right behind the ambulance. He grabbed Neal's hand and ran with the doctors and nurses until his hand was pried from Neal's. He paced in the waiting room. A doctor, Peter recognized from a few minutes earlier, approached him.

"Agent?" Peter nodded for him to continue. "I'm afraid there is nothing we can do for him. All we can do now is make him comfortable. The damage is too extensive. He has less than an hour."

"I want to see him." The doctor nodded and led him to a small room. Peter walked in and sank into a chair next to Neal.

Neal was pale and his breathing was shallow. The heart monitor beeped steadily, but it felt like it was counting down to Neal's death. Neal's eyes were closed, but he opened them when Peter took his hand. He tried to smile but his body was too weak.

"Neal..." Peter's throat closed. Neal's blue eyes stared at him. "Neal, I'm sorry." Neal tightened his grip on Peter's hand.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." His voice was weak and shook slightly. "I should have known that Keller would try something."

"Neal, I'm your handler...no partner and partners have each other's backs. You should have never walked in there alone." Tears sprung to Peter's eyes. "I don't want to lose you." Neal took in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry." In that moment Neal didn't want to go either, but it was too late to turn back now. Neal's hand went limp and his eyes closed. The heart monitor's beeps came slower and slower. Peter held back tears as he literally watched the life disappear from his best friend's body. Neal's chest rose and fell slower and slower. Peter still held Neal's hand, even as the monitor stopped beeping and alarms went off. The doctor came to the room and turned the monitor off, calling time of death. He gave Peter a minute.

Peter sat and cried, his hand holding onto Neal's. He could feel Neal grow cold and it made him cry more. Finally, he stood and walked back out into the waiting room. He sank into a chair and pulled out his phone. He dialed a number without looking and placed it to his ear.

"Hi honey. I thought you'd be home by now. Did you get the Panters?" Peter fought back a sob.

"He's gone, El."

"Who's gone?" Peter took a shaky breath.

"Neal."

"Peter, what happened?" A sob racked through his body. "I'm coming."

"Thank you." Peter hung up the phone, just as Mozzie came running in.

"Where is he?" Peter rose and Mozzie saw the tear streaks. "No."

"I'm sorry, Moz." Mozzie sank into a chair and tried not to cry. Peter sat next to him. They sat in silence until the doctor returned and asked them if they wanted to see Neal. The were led to the morgue and Mozzie tried to come up with a possible explanation. When Mozzie finally broke down, Peter tried to comfort him.

Peter found himself collecting Neal's belongings. When the nurse walked away he stared at the anklet in his hand.

"You're free. You're free." He sank into the nearest chair and tried not to cry, but tears slipped down his face. Soon he was sobbing. He jumped when a gentle hand landed on his back. He looked up and met El's loving eyes.

"I can't believe he's gone." El blinked back tears and pulled Peter close. They sat in silence for awhile, until Peter rose.

"Honey?"

"He needs a proper burial. And a funeral. And..." El stood.

"It can wait one day. Let's go home." They left the hospital with heavy hearts and tear streaked faces.

_to be continued _


	2. Chapter 2

Peter stared at the mirror as he tightened his tie. His eyes were red and bloodshot and he had dark bags under his eyes. His frown deepened when his eyes caught the small box of Neal's belongings. He blinked back tears and pulled on his black suit coat. El walked out of the bathroom with a black dress on. She looked at him, her eyes held the same sadness as his.

"Are you ready?" Peter shook his head and sank onto the bed.

"No, I'm not ready to burry my best friend." He took a couple deep breaths and tried to keep the tears back. El sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Come on." She gently pulled Peter up. They walked out of the house. Peter didn't feel like driving, so El did. He watched the people as they drove past. It felt wrong that the sun was shining. When they parked, Peter took a deep breath, trying to hold himself together, and then climbed out of the car. He took El's hand and together they entered the building.

Peter was shocked at the amount of people. Every chair was filled, except for two in the very front row. The casket sat in the front. The lid already closed and sealed shut. Peter was grateful, he didn't think he could hold it together if he had to see Neal like that. He didn't pay much attention, until they opened it up for people to say a few words. He stood and walked to the front. His hands shook and his lips felt dry. El smiled at him and he began his speech.

"Neal was one of the best men I knew. He actually cared about people. He enjoyed the finer things in life, which who doesn't? But he deserved to drink expensive wine and wear tailored suits. He was a good man and he didn't deserve this. When Neal and I first became co-workers, I resented him. everything seemed to come easy to him. But as I got to know him, I learned that he worked harder than any of us. His mind was brilliant, he had the ability to become anything he wanted to be." Peter glanced at the casket. "But this is where his journey ended. I wish it hadn't come to this, but at least he's finally free." Peter placed a hand on the casket and let silent tears run down his face. He gave the casket a pat and then sat back down in his chair.

He half listened as other people stood and said a few words about Neal. With each person, Peter grew sadder and sadder. Neal had touched every person in this room. His death had effected mall of them. Peter turned and glanced around the room, he recognized everyone in the room, except the man in the back corner with a black hoodie covering his head. He kept his head door, so Peter couldn't see his face. Peter watched the man, for some reason he knew that, that man was important. He watched as the casket was walked out and put into a hearst. The man in the hoodie slipped out and Peter rose to follow him. By the time Peter made it outside, he was gone. He sighed and walked back in to get El.

Neal knew it was risking attending his own funeral, but he had to. He needed to be there and see everyone one last time before he went to Paris. He made sure to keep his head down and not draw any attention to himself. He smiled at the comments people made. But when Peter stepped up to the front, he fought back tears. Guilt built in Neal's gut, he wanted to just tell Peter that he had faked his death, but he couldn't he was under orders. After the casket was carried out, he slipped out and left.

Peter watched as they lowered the casket into the ground. He was fresh out of tears. He stepped forward, with his hand full of dirt and dropped it on top of the casket. Peter and El were the last ones at the grave. They stood in silence and grieved in their own way.

"We should name him, Neal." Peter was startled by El's sudden comment.

"What?" El took Peter's hand and placed it on her belly.

"We should name him Neal." Peter looked in her eyes. And smiled a sad smile.

"Yeah," He leaned down and whispered to El's belly. "Hi Neal. You're named after a great man." El pulled Peter into a hug. As Peter hugged El, he saw the man in the black hoodie duck behind a tree. Peter let go of El and ran towards the man.

Neal cursed under his breath, Peter had spotted him. He thought of possible escapes, but he was too slow. A hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Neal looked at the ground.

"Who are you?" Neal used an accent to answer.

"A friend of Neal's." He kept his head down.

"What's you're name."

"It doesn't matter." Neal shook Peter's hand off of him and started to walk away.

"Wait, please." Neal hesitated for a moment, but then continued to walk away. He could not blow his cover. Neal left Peter broken and confused. He only dared glancing back, when he knew that Peter was gone. Tears slipped down his face. _I'll see you soon, Peter._

to be continued


	3. Chapter 3

The months passed slowly for Peter. He swore that he saw Neal everywhere. He could hear him laughing or catch a glimpse of his crooked grin in his own reflection. Anytime he saw a fedora, he thought of the little trick Neal would do with his hat. Everyday, Peter fought back tears. Everyday, Peter missed his best friend. They say that time heals all wounds, but Peter was starting to doubt that. El tried her best to make him happy, but he was still grieving. He tried to hide it at home, because El needed help with the baby.

Peter glanced at his watch and started packing up for the night. He stood and left his office. He glanced at Neal's desk as he passed. Everything was just as he left it. No one touched it. Peter drove home in silence and plastered on a fake smile, when he walked through the front door. El was sitting at the table feeding the baby. She smiled at him when he walked in.

"Hi, Hon. How was your day?"

"Good." Peter took his coat off. "And yours?"

"Busy." She giggled as she feed the baby another spoon full of food. Peter set his suitcase down and sank into the couch. He closed his eyes and imagines of Neal flooded his mind. He opened his eyes quickly and fought back tears.

"Honey?" Peter looked at his wife. He could tell she was concerned. "Peter, what's wrong?"

"It's been a year, today." El's eyes were immediately full of tears.

"I know."

"I'm going to go for a drive." El just nodded and Peter walked towards the front door.

Peter lay awake in bed. He couldn't seem to close his eyes and drift off into peaceful sleep. He glanced at the clock. It was one in the morning. Peter's phone started buzzing on his night stand and he picked it up. He walked out of the room, before he answered.

"Peter Burke."

"Oh, thank God you answered Peter."

"June?"

"I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think someone might be in my home."

"Why didn't you call the police?"

"I did, they said there was no one available at the moment and it could take them up to 3 hours to get here."

"OK. I'll be right there." Peter slipped on some shoes and grabbed his gun. He ran out the door and raced to June's home. She was sitting on the front porch when he pulled up. She stood and smiled at Peter.

"Thank you for coming. I heard noises upstairs and I went to investigate. Before I opened the door, I heard footsteps and ran outside." Peter pulled his gun from his holster.

"I'll go check it out." Peter walked into the house and quickly cleared the downstairs. He then slowly walked up the stairs and started clearing the rooms. So far he had found nothing. The last place left to look was were Neal had stayed. Peter took a deep breath and pushed open the door. The room was dark. Peter slowly walked in. He saw a figure in the corner by the bed, they seemed hunched over.

"Freeze! F.B.I" The figure turned towards Peter and slowly placed their hands in the air. The figure groaned in pain and spoke with a shaky voice.

"Don't shoot." Peter nearly dropped his gun, the voice sounded like Neal. His hand flew to the light switch and light flooded the room. The figure placed a hand over their eyes. "I was trying to be quiet, I didn't mean to startled June."

"Neal?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Neal?" Peter took in the sight in front of him. Neal's close were torn and dirty. His hair was a mess and he had dried blood caked to his face, but Peter's eyes landed on the blood seeping through Neal's torn white shirt. Peter took a cautious step towards Neal, who was swaying dangerously. "But you're supposed to be dead?" Neal tried to smile.

"Surprise, I'm not." He swayed even more and placed a bloody hand on the wall, to hold himself up. Peter holstered his gun and closed the distance between himself and Neal. He pulled Neal's arm over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist. Peter half carried half drug Neal to the bed. He laid him down gentle and pulled out his cell. Moments later June was at his side. She gasped when she saw Neal.

"Neal?!" Neal smiled weakly at June.

"Sorry, for breaking in."

"Oh, Neal. You know my home is always open for you." She grasped his hand.

Peter poked and probed at the bleeding wound on Neal's abdomen.

"You're going to need stitches."

"Call Moz. He can do stitches."

"Neal what you need is a hospital." Neal shook his head.

"No hospital."

"I'll make you a deal. Tell me the truth about everything that has happened in the past year and I will not take you to a hospital."

"Deal." Peter pulled his phone out again and called Mozzie. He didn't say who Mozzie was working on, but he told him it was urgent. Next thing Peter knew, Mozzie was by his side with a doctors kit. Mozzie froze when he saw Neal laying on the bed.

"But...you're..."

"I'll explain, Moz." Mozzie smiled.

"I don't care, you're alive. That's all that matters. Now let me stitch you up." Peter watched as Mozzie stitched Neal up. Peter was still in a state of shock. He was still trying to wrap his mind around Neal being alive.

Peter woke to the blinding sun. He was confused for a moment. He sat up and his eyes landed on Neal's sleeping form. He smiled, last night was not a dream. Mozzie was sound asleep on the couch next to him and June was in the little kitchen making some coffee. Peter stood and walked over to June. She smiled at him and handed him a cup of coffee. She motioned for them to go out onto the balcony. After they sat, Peter spoke.

"I can't believe it."

"I know. I thought we had lost him forever." Peter nodded. Soon Mozzie joined them. He quietly sipped on his coffee. The three sat in silence.

Neal opened his eyes. Pain flared in his side, but he pushed it aside, he was finally home. He sat up slowly and shuffled outside.

Peter looked up when he heard movement, he flew from his chair and to Neal's side.

"You shouldn't be up, you should be resting."

"Just help me to the chair." Peter rolled his eyes and helped Neal into a chair at the table.

"Ok, you're sitting. Now keep your end of the promise." Neal looked at the ground.

"Before I start, I want you to know, that faking my death was not my idea. It was the F.B.I.'s." Peter's brow furrowed.

"You mean the F.B.I. ordered you to fake your own death." Neal nodded.

"They were worried that the Panthers would find out about me and then in turn fins out about you. So they told me to disappear, until it was clear."

"Why didn't they tell me?"

"To protect you."

"Ok, spill. Where have you been this past year?" Mozzie was getting anxious.

"This past year has been hell. It all started the day we took down the Panthers..."

_To Be Continued _


End file.
